Q & A: How Do I Prevent My Child’s Identity From Being Their Medical Diagnosis? (Video)

Q. “I heard my child refer to himself as his medical diagnosis yesterday. I’m guessing this isn’t good. Is there something I can do to try to counteract this?” 

A.  Thank you for your question and yes, there is something you can do to counteract this thought process.

The concept of Externalization is a Narrative Therapy technique wherein you separate the problem, or in this case, the diagnosis, from the person.

Instead of referring to your child’s medical diagnosis as “theirs” you would instead flip that language slightly and name it as “the” diagnosis.

For example, instead of referring to a child’s cancer as “your cancer” you would make a small change and always refer to it as “the cancer.” Or if a child has seizures, it is not “their seizures” but “the seizures.”

These small nuances of language can go a long way in supporting a child to separate their identity from the medical struggle that they are navigating, and in some cases, battling. This allows your child to hold on to their identity as a child without them carrying the weight of having to be the diagnosis.

I hope this is helpful and I look forward to hearing how this changes things for your son!