Q & A: How Can I Be a Perfect Parent? (Video)

Q. “I’m the parent of two medically-fragile children…and suffice to say I am exhausted and overwhelmed in trying to be perfect and be all the things that they need me to be. Can you help me figure out how to be a better parent?” 

A. I can hear the heaviness in your words. And, I can equally hear the hope of finding a solution. It seems that you realize that what is happening now is not working and I am encouraged that you are looking for a different way that may work better for you.

You won’t be perfect. None of us are perfect. I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. Your best friend isn’t perfect. This is okay. This means we are all in good company. Taking the expectation of perfection off yourself is the best place to begin. Let it go. It’s not possible. So don’t stress yourself out to get there.

In terms of parenting, creating a safe environment for your children is the most important task you have before you. And, to create a safe environment, it begins with you fully showing up as who you are. You aren’t perfect and won’t be perfect. You can be good-enough. And, part of being good-enough is focusing on the fact that good-enough is indeed enough.

I encourage you to let up off yourself a little bit and step away from the perfectionism by allowing yourself to be freely you. This will take the pressure off a little bit. Be sure you are doing small things every day to fill your own cup so that you can care for your children. I think in time you will find yourself enjoying life a little more and feeling less exhausted and overwhelmed. This will take time, but I am hopeful that as you step away from perfectionism and the effort to be perfect, that you will find the middle ground of accepting who you are and the beautiful person you can offer to your children. They are lucky to have you. Hang in there…and remember…you are enough, imperfections and all.